I originally started this blog to hold some accountability for myself and I was totally jazzersized about writing, creating new work, and just putting myself out there. I HAD TO FIND A PATH to this career I had planned for myself for 2 years. I needed something. A back route, alley way, a shaky bridge above man eating crocodile of a creative industry,but no. I ran (feet to the ground, hands in the air) like a nun in a sex shop. The illusion of a prosperous future was melting into the reality I have been living the past few months.
I had become so afraid of the future and scared that it would not be as optimistic as I had hoped; the fear ran deep and began to infected the marrow of my very existence. I was not giving myself the opportunities to succeed, and created my own destructive self-fulfilling prophecy. I had to find a way out of this destructive cycle I was putting myself through, and I began to think that maybe this is not where my life is suppose to go, that maybe I am meant for something greater, something that can yield me greater success. Maybe its some form of running away, but this became my turning point and I could not hid anymore. I felt like I was in control of my future for the 1st time in a long time, ready to take it by the balls and squeeze every ounce of my success out of it I can. I have a firm grasp and I'm not ready to let go!